I thought after the house fire life would get easier, get a new home move on start a fresh and put that experience behind me,this was the case but seemingly only lasted a short time before mine and my boys life was turned upside down once again, maybe is why i feel the need to write after so long..
I feel I have always done the right things in life but fail to see why my boys and I need to suffer so much first the housefire and loss of home and possessions but now have to deal with the loss of there father and all that follows that.
How do I in the years to come explain the loss of there father and have them not feel abandoned like i myself do and to not take on guilt and blame that I also feel. to be cont another time..

Its been a long time since i have posted due to a lot of moving and major life events, I will be posting again very shortly ....

My Little Heros

Well I guess I really don't know where to start its been a while since my last post and life has been very hectic.. like a whirl wind of change has passed through our lives...

On may 18 th I was woken at around 6am by my son Kacey (4yrs) at our Leopold residence to my horror the other side of my bed/slash bedside drawers where on fire I think I hesitated for sec not realising this was real. Then panic hit and I jumped up threw a wool blanket over the fire and grabbed Kacey and racing out of the room. I ran and got water and threw it over the fire screaming to my oldest son Jesse water water he fortunately was asleep in the lounge room he woke up and joined me and attempted to get water to put the fire out by that stage I was in the bedroom throwing water over the fire I then realised there was no use as once it caught my bed and Donner it was fully ablaze.

I struggled to get out the bedroom door as the extreme heat felt like it was sucking me back in was a feeling i will never forget...I grabbed the two youngest boys (Kacey 4Yrs and Sam 17 months) from lounge and threw them out the front door. Jesse was in the kitchen as he had gone to get more water before I had made the decision there was no use. I was screaming out him to get out but to get out he had to pass by the bedroom that was on fire and the extreme heat made it difficult for him to pass understandably .
I remember screaming at him you can do it Jesse you can do this as I was in a situation if i went in to get him the two youngest were going to follow me and none of us may get out.. It was the longest few seconds of my life i as i stood there in fear I was just about to reach in and grab his hand to help him out and hope the others not follow but he found this amazing strength in him and managed to get out to safety.
We ran out into the street screaming fire and one of the neighbours came out and called the fire brigade.

We were so lucky in so many ways in the fact if Kacey hadn't woken me when he did or if Jesse and Sam weren't asleep in lounge I may not have been able to get them from the far end of the house and that my eldest son Jesse found that strength and courage in him to take those last steps to get out of the house safely. I am so proud of my boys and grateful we were able to get out unharmed apart from a few minor burns on my hands.



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Being Yourself

I know we all say we are being our true selves but really only a small percentage of us are.I know myself I have found it hard to be my true self, due to pressures and influences of other people and trying to live up to other peoples expectations and the fear of not being good enough or accepted.This always left me a little lost and unsure of my true feelings, emotions and even my opinions on things.
Therefore in my case I was not able to be my true self. The biggest thing I relised recently is how much not being my true self was holding me back in so many ways I felt I was almost watching life pass bye.
I have found over the past few months since i have started living more for me and my boys rather than others and doing what feels right for me my whole life has changed I have a more positive outlook, I'm trying new things, making new friends, living life more....and am smiling everyday!!! :):)

Deda

Small World

Tonight I lye in bed unable to sleep and as you do when u cant sleep you think.As I was lying there thinking wow what a small world especially with the internet age. Some months back I decided to take a look at this facebook thing I had heard so much about, well to my suprise my friends list started to grow some being newer friends I have made here in Geelong others being long lost school friends and acquaintances some of which I didn't even know I existed and family members of friends.
I came across an old mates father Alen Sentence and we started chatting after not seeing each other for about 15 yrs we chatted about life and where we were at and what we were up and where we wanted to go as you do. To my suprise we had a lot of common goals and interests.
He invited me to join this internet class he is doing I wasn't quiet sure what it was about but went a long and joined the class and at first I wasn't really sure if it was for me.It is now going into the third week of classes and am amazed at how much I have learnt and even more amazed at how far Allen has come considering 12 months ago he hadn't even used the internet on a regular basis and have also met some wonderful new people.
That has inspired me even further to pursue the classes and my other interests to reach my goals. He has also introduced me to a couple of organizations that help disadvantaged children in poverty stricken countries which has always been a passion of mine but never new how I could help.
Allen has also helped me believe in myself again with his kind words and encouragement as I have been a little lost for a long time. So what a small world it is today with the aid of the internet and its endless possibilities.
Thank you Allen you came into my life at a time that was perfect and you have shown me anything is possible and for that you have a special place in my life and I hope that never changes and that goes for the rest of the Sentence family thank you again....:)
Deda

DEDA

Ill start by introducing myself I am Debra Wade (Deda) and I am an Internet Marketer and mother of 3 beautiful boys Jesse 9, Kacey 4 and Sam 14 months. I live in Geelong Autralia I have been here 10 yrs and love it.







Kindest Regards
Debra